


Of Guns and Scalpels

by daeguandbusan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Descendants of the Sun, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 19:32:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6484717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daeguandbusan/pseuds/daeguandbusan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Lee Jihoon tried his best as a doctor, yet fate had been a cruel thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Guns and Scalpels

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the latest episode of Descendants of the Sun. It just came to me and I had to write this drabble/short story. Do listen to this song when reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKVNfsSAFys&nohtml5=False

Jihoon believed it was never too early for coffee, given his occupation and all. But when he saw the gruesome sight before him, he wished he didn’t down three cups of coffee that morning. A surge of nausea washed over him and he swore he almost spewed his breakfast out if not for the urgency in the situation itself.

 

He knew he shouldn’t – especially not at a time like this.

 

Yet the memories for the past few months rushed upon him like a tsunami.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_“You’re cute, you know that?”_

 

_And Jihoon scoffed because who the hell still use such lame ass pickup line? In the 21 st century at that?_

 

_“Or so I’ve been told,” he rolled his eyes, one of his hands busy dabbing iodine on the stitched wound, while the other trying to hold his exceptionally chatty patient in place._

 

_“I didn’t know a doctor could be this cute.”_

 

_“And I didn’t know a soldier could be this flirty either,” looking at the flushed man before him, Jihoon finally smiled in triumph. “Are all soldiers like you?”_

 

_A smirk then re-emerged on the man’s face, driving Jihoon all the more insane._

 

_“No. I guess I’m one of a kind.”_

 

* * *

_Jihoon turned around when he heard a sharp tsk behind him, only to be met with a pair of playful eyes, lips tugged upwards. He suddenly had the itch to rub the smile off the annoyingly handsome face. Yet he let it be; for the man in the uniform looked dashing, especially with those two little dimples on his cheeks._

 

_“Our appointment isn’t until eleven.”_

 

" _I thought doctors appreciate it when their patients are early?” the man grinned wider, hands rested perfectly on his uniform belt, a solid stance Jihoon had learned to admire. Noticing the knowing look being thrown at him, he bit upon his lower lips, trying not to let both his giddiness and smile slip._

 

_I_ _nstead, he turned around to the nurse behind the counter, giving her the filled out clipboard of previous patient, “Yes, but you’re in the way of my work.”_

 

" _Why? Am I that attractive?”_

 

 _J_ _hoon swore he could hear the girl giggled as she took the clipboard from him._

 

_“If by conceited, then yes.”_

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon could pick up the distant siren from the ambulance, indirectly mocking him. A harsh truth that someone was on the brink of death, someone who he undoubtedly cared. He loathed it greatly that he blocked it out, simultaneously holding his own breath in, all the while trying to listen for any sign of life from the bleeding male before him. He did hear it. It was there, but relatively faint- it didn’t stop Jihoon from praying as he forced clear instructions through his trembling lips.

 

He tried to be on his feet.

 

He tried to be calm.

 

But it was obvious enough that among everyone there, he was the least composed.  

 

Still he had a patient to save, trying to keep himself clearheaded and act like a doctor he once told to be.  

 

 

* * *

 

_It was half past midnight, yet Jihoon’s eyes were far from heavy with sleep. They were instead drenched with tears despite the frequent act of wiping with the interval of 10 seconds. He didn’t know why, but he just wanted to be alone and perhaps rot to death._

 

_He could’ve saved them both._

 

_He knew he was capable of so._

 

_However, he still chose one over the other and now a family had lost a respectable husband and father._

 

 _Completely helpless, Jihoon_ _whimpered, who then buried his face in his already dried, blood covered hands. The red stain could’ve been from other survivors he had saved from earlier earthquake, or possibly the last person he had chosen to ‘not save’, for all that he knew. Either way, it was a reminder that he was a murderer, not a doctor he had been telling himself for the past 5 years._

 

_He could literally feel himself getting swallowed by the amount of grief and doubt in him until he felt a rough hand on his shoulder._

 

_Bracing himself for what's to come, he lift up his tear-stained face, but the soldier before him didn’t say a word, let alone the whys or whats. Not even when Jihoon once again broke into seemingly never-ending tears, face red, shoulders shaking._ _Instead, the man just held him in his arms on such a silent night, carefully pulling his small frame into his embrace and letting him rest his head on the very toned chest. Only when he was reduced to small hiccups that the captain of the alpha team spoke,_

 

_“You had to make a choice, and thus a choice you made. Yet, you still managed to save a person who had a steel bar through his chest. A difficult task in which only doctors like you can. You saved him, Dr. Lee Jihoon. And I expect you to keep saving others just like a competent doctor you are.”_

 

* * *

 

Trying to ignore the pain in his chest, Jihoon used all his effort to wheel the bed on the polished floor along with the rest. There was blood everywhere; some on the white sheet, his very own white rob. Even a fair amount got on his slender fingers when he previously held the hands of the increasingly weak body.

 

He took in the sight before him, slightly blurred from the tears he had accumulated. 

 

From the man’s closed eyes and long lashes, to his tall nose. Down to his lips, tainted with the filthy blood. The very same lips that held Jihoon’s first kiss and few more after.

 

If this were to be dream, it was indeed a hella painful one. Jihoon kept chanting the same name over and over, yet each of them hung in the thick air. Not one was answered. Eventually Jihoon tore his eyes from the face and focused on bared chest, where the scar from a knife he had treated awhile back hosted. Except it was now covered with red blood and few additional wounds resulted from hits of bullets.

 

Jihoon had learn how a gunshot wound look like, being a lover to a special force soldier. He realised he had seen and knew way too much for a doctor.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_“Why did you choose to be a soldier?” Jihoon asked as he stared ahead, the presence beside him giving the needed warmth on such cold night._

 

_“Then why did you choose to be a doctor?”_

 

_Jihoon could only scoff, eyes now focused on the other who had his head tilted in Jihoon’s direction, “Didn’t they teach you in the army not to answer a question with another question?”_

 

_The soldier just shrugged._

 

_“They did, but you know very well I never listen.”_

 

_Brought back to the incident when the soldier or code name ‘S.Coups’ went against the commander and his commands, in order to let him carry out a surgery on an important political figure, Jihoon hummed, “Point taken.”_

 

_There was silence enveloping both of them, until S.Coups decided to break it with his deep voice._

 

_“It’s a great reminder.”_

 

_“What do you mean?”_

 

_“I guess being a soldier puts me to my place. A reminder of how precious a human’s life is.”_

 

_And Jihoon didn’t ask further for he understood it completely._

 

* * *

 

 

In the enclosed space, Jihoon could only hear the eerily beeps of the machine. Masked faces, gloved hands and strong sterile air; all surrounded the helpless man on the steel table like a ritual to be foresee. It was just like any other procedures, except the metal in Jihoon’s hand felt heavier than usual. That he almost hesitated if not for his assistant.

 

“Dr. Lee?”

 

“Ah yes,” Jihoon finally cleared his throat, his eyes now on the bleeding mess, trying to focus on the supposed area of dissection. “Let’s get started.”

 

Gathering the remnants of his lucidity, Jihoon let his scalpel came in contact with the skin, carefully penetrating into the cross-section, silent prayers never leaving his lips.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_The two of them were out for a date - a rare occasion for the two- their hands linked when the taller cleared his throat._

 

_“Are you afraid of death?”_

 

_Jihoon raised an eyebrow, a frown began to take over his features, “What’s with the sudden change of mood?” Answered by a mere shrug, he then mumbled, “Of course I do. Who wouldn’t.”_

 

_And Jihoon pointed at a café instead, wishing to drop the subject. To which thankfully they did; only laughter and silly banters graced the rest of their evening date, the terrifying 'death' long forgotten._

 

* * *

 

 

_“I’m scared.”_

 

_“Of what?”_

 

 _Jihoon sighed as he threaded his fingers with the male beside him, the chest he was lying on heaved up and down in a comforting rhythm, “Of you. Leavin--”_ _Not_ _even he could finish the rest of his sentence, Jihoon felt the other shifted, his chin now in the hands of a casual-cladded soldier, their eyes locked._

 

_“I won’t,” he said almost instantly. “I survived few bullets and wars to be killed off that easily._

 

_Jihoon knew it was a lie, but he took upon the bait and swallowed it anyway because he too wanted to believe in those words._

 

_“I love you, Lee Jihoon and I promise I won’t ever leave you.”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

All that’s left were regrets.

 

How Jihoon wished he had kiss the man every second.

 

How he should’ve went out with the soldier earlier instead of rejecting the said person the first three times.

 

How he should’ve said the words “I love you”, if not probably 100 more.

 

Only after the line went flat that his hands on the now lifeless body went still, his hope crushed by the harsh truth. But Jihoon was no quitter. Unable to accept that his effort was futile, he continued pumping the once strong chest - _1, 2, 1, 2,_ he chanted - ignoring the reaching hands all around him.

 

He’s a doctor, it’s his job to save lives.

 

_I can do this._

 

Another pump.

 

_Come back._

 

A tear then rolled down.

 

_You promised._

 

And Jihoon eventually broke, his face now in the crook of the neck belonged to the dead body. He mourned for the death with the loudest voice he had, while others could only stare, as his heart wrenching sobs echoed in cold room. Jihoon didn’t care that he came off as pitiful, neither did he care that his face was now covered with both blood and tears.

 

For the soul he loved had left.

 

_Choi Seungcheol._

 

_Time of death, 11:45 PM._

 


End file.
